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Colburn Christmas Hits

by Colburn Sound Express

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1.
I took a shower washing every body part with actual soap including all my major crevices, including in between my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before but sort of enjoyed I washed my hair with adult formula shampoo and used cream rinse for that just-washed shine I can't seem to find my toothbrush so I'll pick one up when I go out today Other than that I'm in good shape Aaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! I made my family disappear I made my family disappear I made my family disappear I made my family disappear Disappear Disappear Disappear Disappear Tonight
2.
The worst thing to happen to me was on Christmas Oh god, it was so horrible It was Christmas Eve, and I was 9 years old Me and mom were decorating the tree waiting for dad to come home from work A couple hours went by, daddy wasn't home So mom called the office, no answer Christmas Day came and went and still nothing So the police began a search Four or five days went by Neither one of us could eat or even sleep Everything was falling apart and it was snowing outside The house was freezing so I went in to light up the fire and that's when I noticed the smell The firemen came and broke through the chimney top Me and mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or bird Instead they pulled out my father He was dressed up in a Santa Claus suit He'd been climbing down the chimney on Christmas Eve His arms were loaded with presents he was gonna surprise us he slipped and broke his neck he died instantly And... That's how I found out there's no Santa Claus Tonight
3.
I know I don't deserve a Christmas even if I did do a good deed I don't want any presents Instead, I want to take back every mean thing I ever said to my family Even if they don't take back the things they said to me Even if they don't take back the things they said to me I don't care, I love all of them... including Buzz If it isn’t possible I can see all of them could I just see my mother? I'll never want another thing as long as I live I'll never want another thing as long as I live I just want my mother I know I won't see her tonight, but promise me I can see her again sometime, any time even if it's just once and only for a couple minutes I just need to tell her I just need to tell her I just need to tell her I'm sorry Tonight
4.
Red Ryder 04:45
Ah, there it is, my house and good old Cleveland Street How could I ever forget it? And there I am, with that dumb round face and that stupid stocking cap But no matter, Christmas was on its way Lovely, glorious, beautiful Christmas around which the entire kid year revolved Downtown Hohman was prepared for its yearly bacchanalia of peace on earth and good will to men Higbees' corner window was traditionally a high-water mark of the pre-Christmas season First nighters, packed earmuff to earmuff jostled in wonderment before a golden tinkling display of mechanized, electronic joy Wow, there it is the holy grail of Christmas gifts the Red Ryder 200-shot range model air rifle. And there he is Red Ryder himself In his hand was the knurled stock of as coolly deadly-looking a piece of weaponry as ever I had laid eyes on For weeks, I had been scheming to get my mitts on one of these fearsome blue-steel beauties My fevered brain seethed with the effort of trying to come up with the infinitely subtle devices necessary to implant the Red Ryder range model air rifle indelibly into my parents' subconscious Wow, there it is the holy grail of Christmas gifts the Red Ryder 200-shot range model air rifle. And there he is Red Ryder himself In his hand was the knurled stock of as coolly deadly-looking a piece of weaponry as ever I had laid eyes on Tonight

about

Colburn Sound Express celebrates this holiday season with four new certified hits from their favorite Christmas movie monologues!

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!

credits

released December 22, 2015

Colburn Sound Express is: Matt, Ross, and Jason

Produced by Ross Brunetti at The Hits Factory 3 in Brooklyn, NY

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Colburn Sound Express New York, New York

We moved to the Big City hoping to make it! Now that we made it, we've collected all we made into a "Master Hits" collection. All the best recordings in one place!

Thank you for listening! Be sure to stay young at heart and you'll live forever!
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